Tainted
by Lexen
Summary: Draco, Astoria, and the long shadows of war.


**Disclaimer****: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. J.K. Rowling created it all, and no money is being made from this work of fan fiction.**

**AN****: I have no beta, and all mistakes are mine. This story is first and foremost a gift for fan-freak 121. This is also an entry for the "Legendary Gods and Goddesses" competition on HPFC for the "Artemis" category. With so little backstory for Astoria, I have written her from the assumption that the Greengrass sisters were withdrawn from Hogwarts well before the Final Battle and that the Greengrass family was neutral during the war. If this alters canon, I apologize. **

Astoria Greengrass had always known that she was destined for marriage. She had believed she knew everything necessary to be a good wife. Her mother had trained her after all, and her mother was a very good wife. She was pleased to find that her husband would be Draco Malfoy. After all, he was rich, handsome, and charming. She liked Lady Narcissa Malfoy's cool elegance and knew that there was much that she could learn from the leader of pureblood female society.

Astoria had never expected a war to upset her plans.

She did get Draco in the end, of course. The wedding was grand; the manor had been restored to its former glory. Draco was as handsome as ever, as charming as ever, and as haughty as ever. If his smile was a bit too bright and if his hands shook ever so slightly as he held his wine glass, it was easily forgotten. If Draco's politely worded and delicately phrased toast to Severus Snape, a half-blood, was a bit out of place, it was understandable. If his proper acknowledgement of those lost in the war was a bit more emotional than it should have been, it was excusable. War did tend to leave one a bit less than civilized for a time afterward.

And if he held her a little tighter during their first dance than he should have, she decided that she really didn't mind.

And when they were finally alone and Draco treated her like delicate china and she came from the sheer gentleness of his touch, she wondered about the war and his part in it. And when he woke in the early morning, thrashing from a nightmare and screaming for Bellatrix to stop, she shook him awake and let him cry in her arms. And when he had cried himself out and lay quiet against her chest, she stroked his tousled blond hair.

Then she whispered, "Tell me."

Wordlessly, he shook his head, and when the tears came again she implored him, "If you can't tell me than show me."

He did not speak, but she felt his shields fall as his red-rimmed eyes met hers. She waved her wand and spoke the word.

_"Legilimens!"_

And then there was nothing but a teenage boy, his father imprisoned and his mother captive in their home, kneeling at the feet of an inhuman aberration and trying desperately to be a man as the Dark Mark sullied his flesh forever. There was nothing but a boy made to abuse and to torture and to mutilate, and made to watch as others killed and gloried in it. There was nothing but a scared little boy watching his friends suffer and die, his classmates slaughtered like cattle, and his family destroyed. There was nothing but a boy who became a man in the midst of flames and crumbling stone and ashes and blood, a man who saw his wife as the only taste of purity he could ever know, the only remnant of innocence he would ever possess, and the only chance for his redemption by way of her love…and their child. There was only Draco Malfoy, the man who was her husband.

She was quiet for a very long time afterward. He held her in his lap and kissed away her tears.

"I didn't want you to know. It wasn't for you to know. I wanted to keep you pure, innocent, and free of this burden." His voice was hoarse, and it shook like the walls of Hogwarts had shaken before they fell. He brushed back her hair with tenderness that took her breath away and asked brokenly, "Why did you have to know?"

Astoria's mother had taught her well. But this was a question that her mother would never have known how to answer. However, Astoria did.

"Because I can't love all of you if I don't know all of you. If my purity is the cost of that knowledge than I would rather be tainted."

He pulled her against him. Their lips met, and in that moment, they truly became husband and wife.

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